Aprilia RS50:

I've gone over the reasons why I want one of these. Unfortunately, they're pretty rare. On the plus side, though, the ones I've seen for sale are in good shape and are pretty cheap. I'm still wondering if that's a good thing.

Derbi GPR50R/Replica:

I've put both of these together because the Replica is brand new, so finding one any less than MSRP (whatever that is) will be impossible. The older GPRs, though, are starting to sprout up on various classifieds, although they too suffer from Rarity Syndrome. Still, they're being listed for very good prices (sub-$2,000, in some cases), firmly in Affordability Territory.

Yamaha FZ600:

A 600 sportbike? Sort of. Look closely -- you'll notice an "R" missing from that alphanumeric name. The FZ600s were made from '85 to '88, and were, in a word, anemic compared to even the FZR that evolved from it. Why would I want an old sportbike, you ask? Well, ever since my infamous first ride I've had an attachment to them. I feel like I missed out on a rare opportunity when I didn't buy that old FZ, and now I'm paying for it. They're getting increasingly rare, especially in non-thrashed condition, but you just know that if I find one close by for a good price in good condition, even an RS50 wouldn't keep me away from it.

Yamaha FZR600:

Okay, now I'm pushing the envelope a bit. I know the FZR is a potent bike, but unfortunately they just look too much like FZ600s. So for all the reasons listed above, I want one. The good news is they're much more prevalent and not too expensive. The bad news is they're much more prevalent and not too expensive -- I just may get one, meaning all my "start small and work up" advice would sound just a tad hypocritical.

Suzuki GS500:

They're great bikes, I know, but the only reason I want one is so I can buy a set of clip-on bars and an Airtech fairing. That would just look too sweet. And I'd most likely have the only fully-faired GS in a 500-mile radius.

MZ Skorpion Sport/Sport Cup:

I always hated the name "Sport Cup." Sounds like an athletic supporter. But, it would be my first choice among the two. Both of them are the sportier versions of the Skorpion frame (compared to the naked Tour and the sport-touring Traveller), but the Sport has a half-fairing while the Sport Cup has a full fairing. Either way, these are great beginner sportbikes, with the 660cc Yamaha single pushing 48 user-friendly horsepower (a few less than the Ninja 500) through a nimble chassis. These have been widely regarded as some of the best-handling bikes ever made. I'd love to put that theory to the test.

Kawasaki Ninja 250/500:

I have to admit I'm a little wary of the Ninja 250. From what I've read, it seems like the quality is hit or miss -- I've heard people say they were rock-solid reliable, while I've also heard horror stories. That's why I'd never buy one new. I'd get one that has proven itself to be reliable. The 500, well, they're too expensive new, anyway, and they're numerous enough to be a good used buy. They're also great little sportbikes.

Honda Nighthawk 250:

Huh? The underpowered, underbraked, underdamped 250? For a Sportbike Guy? Yes. And I'll tell you why. I've always wanted to bring out the inner Cafe Racer in these bikes. They deserve it -- really, they're pretty nice looking bikes. The first thing I'd do is get a set of clubman (cafe racer-style) handlebars and a universal cafe fairing. Then, I'd either retrofit a Rebel front disc brake or find an aftermarket front disc. I'd then order the Honda jet kit and try to find some kind of exhaust system, preferably a 2-into-1. I'd then upgrade the rear shocks and have the forks rebuilt with stiffer springs. Good thing they're cheap bikes, because all that work sounds expensive. But just think, when I'm all done, people could call me the Toecutter.

Anything I could afford:

If it runs, has two wheels, and I can afford it, well, it just may end up in my driveway. Hey, beggars can't be choosers.