The Eclectic Biker: April 2003

Scooterlust

Yes, it's confirmed. I've been diagnosed with a full-blown case of scooterlust. It's a strange malady, in which those affected start using strange words like "spree" and "razz," plus have an unusual attraction to blue smoke.

There's something about scooters that just fascinates me. I don't quite know what it is. Maybe it's their simplicity, their style, or just the fact that they're so darn cute, like a puppy.

Wait -- did I just say cute as a puppy? Quick -- V-8, horsepower, fuel injection, machine guns... Whew, that was close. Almost lost my masculinity.

Where was I? Oh yeah, scooters. Let's just say I really like them, and leave it at that. Lately I've been seeing a lot of ink (or electrons, in the case of websites) devoted to the little smokers, and it's having an effect on me. In fact, I've made a decision -- I want a scooter.

Practical reasons do exist for owning scooters. They're lightweight, agile, easy to ride, efficient, and, in most cases, can be ridden without having a little "M" on your license. I was always under the impression that my home state of Pa. didn't allow that, but after further digging, it turns out that any old Joe (or John, as it were) can ride a scooter, as long as it's an automatic and has an engine no bigger than 50cc.

Which is fine with me, seeing as how most scooters fall under those standards. Also, scooters in Pa. aren't regulated for top speed, so I can de-restrict to my heart's content. Most scooters are regulated to peter out around 30mph -- all those states that consider scooters mopeds also restrict their speed.

The other nice thing about scooters is that they're CHEAP. Used ones can be had for a six-pack and a handshake, and even new ones won't break the bank. The established companies -- Yamaha, Honda, Aprilia, MZ, Piaggio -- sell most of theirs (at least the 50cc ones) for right around $2G. And if you add in all the Chinese knock-offs readily available on eBay, a brand-new scooter can be yours for about a grand. Not bad for what is essentially an extra vehicle.

What about me? Well, as with everything, money talks, and I'm not saying much right now. Meaning, of course, I'm going cheap. Part of me would love to have an older (80s-vintage) Honda or Yamaha to beat up, but I have to admit I've scoured the scooter section of eBay, and some of those Chinese cheapies look pretty good. My ultimate scooter would be a Yamaha Zuma -- they're just about the coolest scooters around, with their R6-inspired paint and graphics, big tires and dual headlamps (a la Triumph Speed Triple).

Thankfully, the Chinese copied them, too.

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em

One of the main reasons why I like scooters is the fact they have two-stroke engines. To me, they've always had a mystique about them, like someone took the internal combustion engine and said, "I wonder what would happen if I took this out." Unfortunately, they won't be around too much longer. Yup, Big Brother, in the guise of the EPA, has decided they are just to darn dirty, so in a few years, all scooters have to be four-strokes -- Honda has already put four-stroke engines in the Metropolitan and Ruckus, to replace the two-stroke Elite.

I know I'll get an argument on this, but what's the difference? I mean, I can see if every vehicle on the road was a two-stroke, but scooters ain't exactly flying out of showrooms, so what would a few smokers matter to the environment on the large scale? Not much. Things like this are PR moves, ways to make the greenies happy without going after the REAL polluters, like commercial trucks or factories. Pardon my rant here, but I'm tired of getting screwed. Do you know that in Europe, the amazing Aprilia RS250 two-stroke sportbike is available as a streetbike? And you know what's keeping it off our streets? You guessed it, emissions. I think there should be exemptions for low-volume or small-displacement two-stroke bikes.

Blame it on the overlap, that split second in the two-stroke combustion cycle when both the intake and exhaust ports are open, thus allowing straight oil and gas to be blown out the exhaust pipe. It's a problem no engineer has been able to solve efficiently, thus signing the death warrant of the poor smoker.

They will be missed.

Eclectic Bike Of The Month

I'm going to try and include an eclectic bike with each month's article. It may be hard to do, considering eclectic bikes aren't very common, but hey, can't blame me for trying.

This month, in keeping with our two-stroke theme, I'm going to highlight two bikes, in a category most people don't know exists -- 50cc sportbikes. Enough has been said about the Aprilia RS50, but, amazingly enough, there are other options in this rare category. Also amazingly, both are from Spain.

Some may recognize the name Derbi. They are active in 125cc Moto GP, both with their own team and by supplying bikes to the championship-winning Gilera team. They also gained some exposure with the GPR50R, their first 50cc sportbike, that was featured in the pages of Cycle World.

Now, they've upped the ante with the GPR50 Replica, and darned if it doesn't look like their 125GP bike. The new styling also includes twin vertical headlights, much like the Ducati 999. The chassis is basically the same as the GPR50R, which means a lot of serious hardware for such a small bike -- inverted fork, progressive mono shock suspension and stout twin-spar frame.

Powering the Replica is a Minarelli-based 49.9cc two-stroke single, just like 99 percent of all scooters on the market. This one, though, is liquid cooled, with a six-speed gearbox transmitting power to the 16" rear wheel via chain drive.

The one complaint of any 50cc bike is speed. They're just plain SLOW. Don't worry, though -- plenty of hop-up kits exist for the engine. In fact, most GPR50Rs were sold with a big-bore kit that increased displacement to 72cc, and put out enough power to propel the little smoker to 80mph with the right (read: skinny) rider.

Much of the same can be said for the Rieju RS1. Rieju is another Spanish small-bike specialist, and the RS1 is amazingly similar to the Derbi, at least in specifications. It, too, uses the common Minarelli-based engine with liquid cooling, six-speed transmission, and twin-spar frame. The Rieju differs from the Derbi in two ways -- first, it has a conventional fork, and second, it's slightly smaller.

Although small, they're not far removed from a Kawasaki Ninja 250. Meaning most people can ride them, although they're not recommended for those who are, ahem, stout in nature.

These bikes are also raced. Man, that must be fun. What could be safer than racing a bike that can barely do 80? Not only are they safe, but the lack of power means the rider's skills are tested at each turn. I'd bet anyone's skill level will rise immeasurably after just one racing season on one of these.

And price? Well, I haven't been able to find any official MSRPs, mostly because the company web sites are in Spanish. But, I've found GPR Replicas for sale on eBay for $2,799, and I doubt the Rieju is too far off.

Not bad for a safe, fun-to-ride bike that you just know no one else on your block owns.

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